Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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