I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
