Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
