she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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