Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
