shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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