its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
