Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have fence marks all over my body
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
