Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
