Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
