i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
