So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
then he tried to convert me to islam
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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