I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
