someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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