it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you would pick up someone in the library
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
