We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
