I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
operation have a gay friend backfired
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
