I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
