Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
