so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
