Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this just has baby written all over it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
