i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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