i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
