there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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