where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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