I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
