put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
