STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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