I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
