i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
