So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
