If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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