Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I still have a little drunk in my system
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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