I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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