I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
