I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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