he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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