Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
