all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
