You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
