he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
