dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
