hotel room ftw
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
