he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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