i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you traded sex for a burrito?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
how does that bad decision feel?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
