he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
