some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
