u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
