He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
