you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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