Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
