thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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