R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize