...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize