And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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