Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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