Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
