I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
