I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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