Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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