She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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