Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
