can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
