This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
