i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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