I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize